Sunday, February 26, 2017


Bill De Blasio, the current mayor of New York City, has obviously outdone the closeted Wizard of Oz. He has flown way over the LGBTQ+infinity rainbow to Absurdistan. He has stamped his signature to a declaration of 31 distinct genders in this bizarre pamphlet outlining New York City "law", which will hopefully be challenged and found unconstitutional. My sincere hope is that Marty Walsh, Boston's own ultra-Liberal mayor, doesn't catch this disease before the Supreme Court upholds the First Amendment against this genre of threat once again. Liberals used to like the First Amendment. What happened?

I am considering dressing up in a banana suit. I will declare myself trans-species. I will insist that people address me as "Top Banana", "Your Topness", "Your Fruitiness", I will file a hate-crime complaint against anyone who tells banana jokes in my hearing, makes monkey references, threatens to cut me up for cereal, offers to peel me, or refers to my yellow-ness in anything but complimentary terms. I will demand the respect and governmental protection due to any birth-human who decides to become a fruit or vegetable (except radishes, because they give me gas). 

I suppose genetic testing may be used to determine whether or not I am actually a banana. But I will persist. I will not let science stand in the way of my apparent dementia. I will shame and terrorize all those who persist in maintaining any measure of normalcy, based in statistics and science. How dare they? I know they will be freaked out by my obviously insane persistence. This gives me power. 

We have now learned that fascism isn't what we thought it was. Yes, it is the gang mentality of the brutal few who try to inflict their ideology on the masses through intimidation and media manipulation. But it isn't associated necessarily with straight-backed soldiers in uniform doing the goose step.

The new Liberal fascism is now associated with college women who dress like prostitutes and say, "Don't touch me." and "Don't look at me." It is now associated with self-victimizing women in burkas who defend genital mutilation as culturally appropriate. It is now associated with men who hate themselves so much that they have themselves castrated. It is now associated with women who hate themselves so much they have total mastectomies. And, most sadly, it is now associated with confused gay men and lesbian women who have embraced all these causes as sacrosanct at the expense of their own dignity and sub-cultural legacy. 

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